


Wolf Paw

by JanusOliver



Category: Original Work
Genre: Freedom, Gen, I’m processing, Not much detail, This is some serious shit, vaguely abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanusOliver/pseuds/JanusOliver
Summary: And if I die before I wake..may the devil take you too





	Wolf Paw

**Author's Note:**

> Uh yeah, back at it working through my depression shit. Hope y’all like it to the 6 of you that will read it.

Do wolves feel fear when they gnaw their own paws off to be free of a trap?  
That slick bitter tang that coats the back of your throat 

Lungs heavy

Stomach churning

That deep sense of fear  
Not just of the trap  
But of how far you’ll go  
How ready you are to sacrifice parts of you for freedom  
That you’ll strangle yourself to feel

for one second that you are your own person

As Charybdis whirls, blades of water churning waiting to lure men to their damp graves amongst the barren ocean floor

So to my hate, burning....devouring  
I thought I knew it’s meaning  
But no, a mere child’s understanding

The true yearning for someone to die  
Knowing inside that you may kill them instead  
Hate, acid burns in my soul  
I want to toss accusations  
I want to scream  
I want to scratch and tear and bleed  
Rip free and let loose my rage  
But I’m quiet  
I’m calm...

What use is my veneer of a stiff upper lip?  
Fuck you, let me go  
I stayed because of my fear  
My ego..my pride 

And you won’t even let me have that

I’m nothing but a husk of my former self  
I sneer down at myself battered

But she didn’t lay a hand on you

She didn’t need to...

Words...empty apologies

You didn’t mean it when you almost killed our friend 

You don’t mean it now!  
I’m sorry...

I don’t want your apologies  
Your sniveling kowtowing to propriety  
And your own victim hood

I want vengeance  
I want blood  
I want everyone you love to hurt you the way you hurt me  
I want you to feel it  
The quiet desperation  
Hope  
And it’s quick death

I want your soul to be broken  
And if I’m damned to hell with you I want the honor of laying the first whip to your pale hide.

You know nothing of suffering  
You know nothing at all  
You have stated hardship in the face  
Averted your gaze  
Blind to all  
Just like that hypocrite Saul cum Paul  
A disgusting parody of humanity..  
Stretches your face in a smile of oppression

Ignorant you are  
Stay that way  
Any expense another makes to educate you  
Is a crime to their time and attention

You speak in triplicate, quarter truths fall from your mouth like honeyed wine

I will be free  
I am fierce  
I have no pride  
I have only fear and determination  
I will die if I stay  
Poisoned by slick sweet lies  
Told behind a desperate façade

I am stronger than my fear of failure  
I’ve already failed by ever choosing you

My hate powers me  
My hate is my will  
I will never forgive  
I will never forget  
My hatred walks beside me  
Keeping me strong  
Carrying me through the sand  
When I cannot stand on my own

My happiness  
My continued breath tinged  
With the knowledge the you are  
here and breathing still


End file.
